Perishable Goods

To whoever is reading this and whatever season of life you are in, I hope these words can encourage you in some way, and maybe bring light to a new perspective. Specifically my single peeps out there, this ones for you. However if you are reading this and you are in a relationship, maybe you can get something out of it too, so just keep reading. :) This is just a snippet of what the Lord has been teaching me and putting on my heart recently.

If you are in the same boat as me, then you are currently single. It seems to me that there is a trend for almost all single people my age that I talk to when it comes to relationships. There is always a negative stigma on being single. People would rather get involved in a temporary relationship than be by themselves. It is very popular for our culture to be dependent on a significant other. “I just want a boyfriend (or girlfriend)!” “I'll be happy once I’m taken.” I constantly hear that sort of talk amongst my peers and within the culture we live in. The grass is always greener on the other side right? Well I am here to tell you that doesn’t always have to ring true. We tend to always see the benefits in other stages of life, and the limitations in our own. It’s time we start to leverage the opportunities in our own stage of life.

Paul called singleness a gift to the Corinthians and encouraged them to embrace it. The opportunities of singleness are like perishable goods. Oftentimes we just have to open our eyes and ask God to use us in this season. God can and will use our singleness. Don’t resent the season you are in, but ask God, “How do you want to use me right now to further your Kingdom?”

In this season, it's important to get real with yourself and what your heart is searching for. Are you looking for a savior or a spouse? Are you looking for someone to fix what's inside of your own heart? Because if that's the case, no person or relationship will ever be able to handle that, because they weren't meant to. God is meant to. Don’t put a God sized need into another human being.

As Christains we are called to be in a relationship with intentionality and purpose. SO let's not date without those things. If marriage is the end goal, then you should be looking for a partner in ministry, not someone who could merely give you a good time. Ask yourself: “Who would be a great partner to build the Kingdom with?” and “Is this person radically pursuing Jesus?” In today’s world, finding someone is easy, but finding the right person is not. Be fully conscious of what you are chasing after, and don’t bind yourself to someone who is chasing different things. You want someone who is going to push you forward. So, don’t lower your standards, but lengthen your patience.

With that being said, don’t set yourself up for failure by creating a fake person in your head with impossible standards. That can be very easy to do. The world constantly shoves images of what a perfect relationship or what a perfect guy or girl should look like. Through the media, our image of love and finding a life long partner has been skewed from what God has intended it to be. Trust me, I am guilty of daydreaming about my future husband and have even thought of perfect qualities he is going to have. It’s not easy, but try to squash those fantasies. They are not realistic, and ultimately your fascination can obscure true evaluation of a man of God (or woman of God).

I'm sure y’all have all heard of a Proverbs 31 type-of-girl…

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Proverbs 31 talks about how a wife with noble character is “far more precious than jewels” (verse 10). This is the type of woman I am striving to be. Sometimes instead of focusing so much on how I want my future husband to be, I have to evaluate myself and see if I am living up to my own expectations. Be like the person you want to marry. I encourage y’all to have that mindset right there. And don’t worry, I am preaching to myself as well. Something to keep in mind is- the bait you catch them with, is the bait you keep them with. If you want to be pursued as a wife (or husband), then portray yourself as one. I encourage y’all to pray for your future spouse. Pray that the Lord is preparing their heart for you one day, and hold yourself to high standards FOR your future spouse. Remember: now may scream louder, but later lasts longer (if you don’t know what that means, go read Delaney’s blog post with that title right after this).

In a time of waiting, you can either be shaky in fear and uncertainty, or you can be stable in faith. Trust that the Lords got you. Trust that He’s written a plan for your life that will blow every expectation out of the water. Abandon your own timeline in favor of His peace and greater plan. If you are currently in a season of singleness, do not be discouraged, and do not settle. I wanna challenge you to get really really good at walking alongside the Lord. Pursue who God is, because until you can get a relationship with Him right, you won’t be able to get a relationship with someone else right. Until Jesus satisfies your heart, no person ever will. We were all created with hearts longing for love, but it can only be fulfilled by the Creator of love Himself first. You cannot rightly define love by looking at humanity alone, you have to look at the radical love our Heavenly Father offers us every single day. If you don’t have that source of love from The Lord, then you will end up looking for it in other people, which will inevitably lead you to insecurity. Insecurity makes you a drain and not a fountain. God knows your heart, and He wants to give you the desires of your heart. But remember friend, patience produces precious fruit.

Please reach out to me if you ever want to talk or need a friend during this season! My phone number is (408)656-1268. Love y’all!!!

-McKenna Rose